Last week was my last week at work! It's a huge and sudden shift for us. I'm still processing that I had to resign from my job. When I realized I had no other choice but to resign, I couldn't quite describe how I was feeling. It wasn't an easy or happy decision to make. Mostly, I felt a trembling feeling of anxiety because it is such a big life change for us.
I haven't gone into detail before about my life as a working mom on this blog. Now since that chapter of my life has come to an end it's a good time to rewind and look back at a few things that led up to my resignation. I'm hoping if you're a working parent struggling with the same things you can relate and maybe this will help you know you're not alone! Even if you're not a working parent, I'm sure you've still gone through the similar dilemmas! I think it's good to be transparent and share the struggle of being a working parent and entrepreneur.
Read on for more details and if you've gone through similar struggles let me know how you got through it in the comments!
I've been a working mama for about five years now. I was pregnant with my daughter last year and was entitled to eight months of maternity/childcare leave before I had to return to work in late January 2018.
We had an okay situation where YFT had a driver pick him up from home, take him to school, then drop him to a daycare after school. Either me or my husband would pick him up from there.
Sometime in August, while I was on leave from work, the driver we were using told us she was not available anymore. So we made the decision that I would drive him to and from school, then straight home. However, it was a chance we took in losing his spot in the daycare. We were hopeful though, that by the time I was due to return to work, the daycare would have space for him and the baby, we would have another driver, and we would continue our routine as before.
We were a little too hopeful, because that did not happen. By the end of November, when I started to plan childcare for my return to work, the driver was still unavailable and the daycare only had space for one child. The school was too far for either of us to drive him to while working. So we switched YFT to a different school closer to our house. I remember that feeling clearly, how anxious-ridden and sad I was to disrupt his life and switch him to a new school. I was not happy about that.
But we also hoped to find a daycare near his new school that the baby would go to during the day, and he would go to after school. Yet again, we were too hopeful about that. We had all these different options but no solution. Every arrangement became a riddle. The school told us (after we enrolled him) that our house was too far for the school bus and we need a separate driver. We had a hard time finding a driver, then finding an affordable daycare, and figuring out the drop off and pick up. The irony of it all was that we got a second car after the baby was born, but we live in New York where parking is insanity, and simply dropping the kids off in one place, parking, then going to work was impossible in our area.
We interviewed and visited so many drivers and daycares and babysitters. By this time, I was due back to work in one week and we had no plan for the kids. It would be the most unprofessional thing to resign then - I was setting myself up for getting a really, REALLY bad reference from my supervisor if I did that!
I didn't want to resign for other reasons too, this business being one of them!
Alhamdulilah with the help of my parents and my aunt, we were able to come up with a temporary solution. We enrolled YFT in another Islamic School near my parents house. My aunt was able to watch the baby during the day and the bus would pick YFT up from my aunt's. But I had to move in with my parents during the week so this arrangement could work. So for the past several months, we lived at my parents during the week, in the mornings I dropped both kids to my aunt in the morning, parked, then took the bus, then train to work. In the evenings, I would just pick the baby up and my mom would pick YFT up. We drove back home on the weekends.
If it sounds like a crazy situation, it was. That's why we knew it would be temporary and ideally we would figure out another childcare situation. But that day of figuring out another childcare situation never materialized! We went through another round of interviews and drop off and pick up riddles before realizing we simply didn't have childcare available so I can work. So barely two weeks ago, I surprised my coworkers and supervisors by telling them I had to resign.
Did I want to leave my job at this point? No, I didn't. I think that has been the hardest part to accept, that I didn't want to resign yet I had to. While leaving work to take care of my kids is something I know I won't regret, leaving a good job was hard to do.
Even though I've left the security of working in an office, I do still have work to do, which is this business! I think that is the positive light; I've started working on building this brand of boys' clothing and now instead of this being a part time thing I can devote more time to it.
Of course, not having extra income to put into creating new designs, fabrics, photoshoots, and the website, means I'll have to be a lot more cautious of the future of YFT and if I'm able to continue to pursue this endeavor.
For now, you can expect more frequent blog posts as I keep you updated on my journey building the YFT brand. The next few posts will be more fun shopping guides, videos and photoshoots:) InshaAllah bigger boys sizes (8-16) are coming soon!
If you made it to the end of this post, thank you so much for reading this post. Please leave your thoughts in the comments and if you've gone through similar struggles let me know how you got through it!